Stop Stalking Ex – Breaking up never feels good. Things can get worse when your ex seemed to be happier after the break up.
But… wait a minute!
How do you know that your ex is happier? Did you just stalk your ex’s Instagram? Do you want to know how to stop stalking your ex?
Dear, if you read this article, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s check out some tips that would make you stop stalking your ex. But first, we need to consider why do we stalk people, especially our past significant other.
Experts said that there is some kind of obsessed energy in yourself when you did that to people. However, you might be unaware that your obsession with the connection is based on “love.” In reality, that obsession is branched from fear and insecurity. When someone is stalking someone else, it’s a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact that can lead to concerns of safety to oneself. In the case of erotomaniac, sometimes stalkers are motivated by their delusional thoughts, but it does not always mean that you have to be delusional to be a stalker. It might be just a fear of rejection or repressed anger because one person is not giving them something that they need.
If the latter explanation is your case, these tips probably will help you to deal with your stalking behavior.
1. Try to not react to your ex’s social media posts, at all!
Yes, you can say that somehow, your ex’s social media be looking more interesting after they broke up with us. They might feel better off without you, or they might be not. In that case, you might want to stay away from social media for a while so you won’t have thoughts whenever you see your ex’s uploaded a new photo and wondering whether they are happy or not.
Some people also stalk their ex’s social media because of the memories. However, some memories are meant to fade away. The reason why you’re still clinging to those memories is because there are so many emotional meanings behind them. Some people are impacting our lives harder than they ever could. So, it might be healthier to just let them go.
2. Stop stalking ex by stop spamming them
Spam your ex with a lot of chats will not make you feel better. They might even get annoyed with your chats pile. It might trigger a hostility between you two. Break up is still ok, but an enmity is a no no.
3. Love is addicting, so let’s detox it out!
Dear, studies say that love caused neurons in our brain interconnected just like when people addicted to drugs. The more we spend our time, efforts, and our energy for our lover, the more our “addition” increased on them. Once we don’t meet them for a while, it’d feel like as we were on “high”. That might be the reason why we have a high desire to get them back not long after the break up. You might want to get more accustomed living without them so that effect won’t drag you on. Start to spend more time for your family or friends.
4. Get into your old hobbies
When we were dating, there are times that we forget our hobby that we like. As we don’t have a lover that needs a lot of your time and attention, you can do your old hobby. Oh right, breaking up with your lover means you’d have a lot of time to play mobile legends, you know. Nobody nags too! There, you have a double kill already.
5. Stalking your ex is unproductive, stop it by limiting your screentime!
Your stalking habit might caused by how you use your social media excessively. Social media is designed to get our attention, to make us to spend a lot of time on that platform. You will see that life is not as wide as your phone’s screen. If you do think you are using social media excessively, then limit yourself.
Those are some tips that Riliv could give you. Oh, there’s one more, for you to stop stalking your ex, doing exercises in mindfulness with Riliv can help you sort out negative thoughts and anxieties related to love. Or, you can try to book a mental health counseling with psychologists to deal with stalking behavior. Our app has the best psychological services you’ve ever had and it’s guaranteed! So, are you ready to move on with Riliv?
Reference:
- Cleveland Clinic. (n.d.). Delusional Disorder. Retrieved from Cleveland Clinic: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9599-delusional-disorder
- Emamzadeh, A. (2022). Why Certain People Stalk Their Exes. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/finding-new-home/202202/why-certain-people-stalk-their-exes
- Muller, R. T. (2013). In the Mind of a Stalker. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/talking-about-trauma/201306/in-the-mind-of-a-stalker
- Parvez, H. (2022). How to forget about someone. Retrieved from Psymechanics.com: https://www.psychmechanics.com/how-to-forget-about-someone/
- Weiss, R. (2015). This Is Your Brain on Love. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/201501/is-your-brain-love
Written by Handy. Translated by Sabrina Rizkahil. Edited by Neraca Cinta Dzilhaq, M.Psi., Psikolog.
